10 Ways to Get Your Children to Respect
You
Respect is a huge issue for parents, yet
addressing the subject by way of requirement typically makes matters worse.
Respect can’t be demanded, yet that’s exactly what we try.
Families simply cannot function without
respect, but the more we push the more elusive it seems to be. So, what’s the
answer? Why won’t children fall into line? What kind of plan can possibly help?
There are no easy answers, but there are
positive directions. For starters, back off. Families are not the
military and there is no uniform code of conduct! There is, however, the
powerful intervention of love. Check out the following “10 Ways” that will, at
the very least, get your family heading down the right path.
1.
Respect your children:
There is a common saying that "Respect is reciprocal". It also follow the Biblical law, "Do unto others as you would want them do unto you". This is going to look different from child to
child, but you know when you’re disrespectful and so do they. As the parent,
this is something we can teach by doing.
2.
Respect your husband:
This is huge. The relationship between parents
sets the tone for the greater family dynamic. When children witness mom and dad
treat one another with love and respect, despite their differences, the
standard has been set. If, conversely, kids witness their parents bring one
another down, it’s an uphill climb from there. You can’t un-ring that bell.
3. Be
consistent:
Children need to know what to expect.
Inconsistency on the part of parents leaves kids floundering. Consistency is
both a compass and an anchor.
4.
Follow through:
Another way to say this is, “Tell the truth.” That
means, think carefully before you lay out a potential consequence. The moment
you fail to follow through, your credibility and your respect is out the
window.
5.
Spend more time teaching love than teaching rules:
Children who are taught the connection between
love and discipline can accept consequences more easily than those who are
governed exclusively by “chapter and verse.” Love does not demand respect; love
commands respect.
6. Live
with integrity:
Children are master observers. They notice if
you have a good work ethic, if you are generous with tips, if you help others,
if you talk positively about others behind their backs, etc. These are areas
where we build and sustain the kind of character our kids will respond to with
respect.
7. Be a
family:
Is this a family you consider worthy of your
best? Is your family “job one?” This means being proactive about family life.
Meals together, special trips and events, game nights, vacation.
8. Be a
leader:
Don’t just love, love from the front. Parents
are family leaders, and one way to lead is to love from the front.
9.
Don’t try to be their friend:
This can be hard because we want so much to be
liked by our kids, but that’s not something we should be fishing for. Don’t
worry about being loved; be their mother instead. Do the parent thing to the
best of your creative ability and the love will happen by itself. The like part
really isn’t a factor, because that’s not why you’re there, is it? You’re there
because you love them and that’s something the kids can, and will, respect.
10.
Tell the truth:
We’re not just talking about words here. Tell
the truth about what you believe and then follow through. Tell the truth about
what your values are and then live them. Tell the truth about your love and
then love with as much energy as you can muster. Be genuine. Let your
gifts come through. Do your very best at being who you are. They’re not
going to love anything short of your authentic self.
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